MARIE'S IDEAS
OVERCOMING ADVERSITY
STOP BEING A VICTIM
By
Marie McKenize
June 1998
     Psychologists and psychiatrists have theories, done studies and have talked to countless
people to find out why some people overcome adversity and why some others cannot.  These
"experts" do not understand or know that there is something inside each of us that will give us the
strength if it is in our Life Plan to overcome.  This is my story:
     I was born to a mother and father, who should have never been parents, at least to me. 
My father wanted to create the perfect woman to replace the one who had spurned him.  He
created me and tried everything to keep me for himself, someone who would love him forever,
and never leave him.  Actually, he tried repeatedly to destroy me in all ways that any human could
do to another.  
     My mother hated me from the time I was born because I was named after the woman who
had spurned my father.  My mother did not want me around, and she was the first person in my
life that tried to kill me, and I mean that exactly as it sounds.  My mother should have never been
a parent.  She had tricked my father into marrying her.  My mother has a gambling problem and
has been arrested many times for embezzling money from the companies that she worked with.
     When I was six months old, my mother put a knife into my vagina and was going to split
me in half.  She could not stand looking at me and hearing me cry.  My mother was stopped by
"other forces."
     I escaped into my mind while alterpersonalities were created to live my life until I was able
to accept and reclaim it.  That is when I met, was cared for, and taught by these "other forces,"
called the CIE (Celestial Intelligent Energy). They called themselves Faith, Hope, and Charity.
     They became my mothers, my only source of teaching.  The alterpersonalities were leading
my physical life, but one of these days I would have to claim my life again.  How was I going to
do that without teachers, without love, without caring?  My sources were the CIE; you would call
them angels. I was not dead. I was alive, but I had to be protected from the abuse that was being
done to my body.  The alterpersonalities were now the ones who were being abused.  
     The CIE were my mothers, teachers, mentors.  They loved me, cared about me.  They
protected me from the abuse.
     My father constantly controlled and abused me.  His abuse was extreme and never ending. 
My mother had only tried to kill me that one time, but, after that, she was emotionally detached. 
My mother still lies and  steals, but to others she acts as the perfect concerned mother.  She needs
to have that lie going in order for her to feel better about herself.  She stole all of my credit cards
and charged everything to the limit, and I had to file bankruptcy.  My mother is a person who
must have everything revolve around herself. 
     My father died when I was 23 years old.  He died alone.  He had no one in his life, no one
close to him.  He lived as he died, alone, totally and completely alone.
     You must have questions. How did I survive the abuse for so many years?  What kind of
person am I now?  Did I abuse my own children?  Am I married?  What did my husbands do to
me?  Am I happily married?  Here are my answers.
     I survived the abuse because of my "mothers."    
     I came out of all of this abuse with a loving heart and no need for revenge.  I don't need to
be labeled a victim.  I am not.  Victims will always live with a feeling of not being able to do
anything.  I can and continue to.  I have a driving force in me that knows that I can do anything.  I
have my "mothers" who tell me that I can do anything.  I am alive today because my Life Plan
called for me to be alive.  I am here because of something that is inside myself, my "Essence,"
called Becky, who helped me to survive.  
     Becky proves to me every day that I am a great and good person.  Becky is my driving
force.  I would not be here if she had not kept me alive.  I am here to complete and fulfill my Life
Plan.  Becky knows that I can do anything.  She is my source of information and help.
     I have never been alone.  I prove to myself every day that I am important, and that my
father was a very sick man.  I do not dwell on the past; I look to the future.  I look to the changes
in my life.  I look to the challenges that are before me.  Life is too good to blame environment or
parents or others.  So others have it better than I do.  So they have more money than I do.  So
they have less than I do.
     I smile easily; I make friends easily. 
     All of the abuse that I suffered has not stopped me.  I could have laid down and died a
long time ago, but I choose to live, and living is what I am doing.  I am accepting the memories
that the alter-personalities had when they were in control of my body, and I can accept what their
feelings were and why they acted the way they did.  
     I have a new lease on life, and it is fantastic.  I don't blame others for my past, and I don't
blame others for my future.  My Life Plan is laid out, and I must follow what is revealed to me by
Becky.  
     With Becky and me together, we can and will accomplish anything that I want and need to
do to complete this life plan of mine.
     The "experts" do not understand that each of us has that special "person" inside us who
keeps us going without excuses.  
     Remember, I have been there, and I have come through to that other side and I know that
there is really a tomorrow.
     I was abused by two husbands, and I was beaten severely enough to lose one child.  I have
worked with abused children as a volunteer.  I do not and will not live in a victim role.  That is
not a healthy state of mind.  
     Life is good and needs to be lived to the fullest.  With Becky's help I will make it with the
positive attitude, and with a loving heart.
     To stay in a victim role gives and will continue to give power to the abuser.  It was not my
fault; I did not do anything to cause the abuse to happen.  I was only responsible for my actions
after the abuse happened.  I have decided that my life is much too short to give that kind of power
to another human being again.  I am responsible for my actions and for continuing my Life Plan. 
Only Becky and the CIE (my "mothers") can ever tell me that I am not following my Life Plan.  
     Being a victim makes you stay a victim forever.  You will never heal; you will never be
able to exist in the world.  Hiding away does not deal with the problems.  People are here in this
world to help us, to give us information, and to possibly hurt us.  That is part of our Life Plans. 
The old saying, "I never promised you a rose garden," is very true.  Life is what you make it.  If
you choose to live life hidden away afraid, then who are you hurting?  
     My father is dead and has been for a long time.  If I had hid away, afraid of being hurt,
afraid of my own shadow then my life would not be worth anything, and my father and mother
would have won.  People are people; there will always be good ones and bad ones.  Each has a
Life Plan to live out.
     I trust Becky, Faith, Hope and Charity; they kept me alive for more than 30 years while
my father, mother or one of the alter-personalities could have killed me, but that did not happen. 
I am still here, completing and fulfilling my Life Plan.  Life is very good to me. I still have
problems and difficulties, and I still get very depressed, and I still hurt.  But I would never want to
die.  Life is good.
     You do not have to let circumstances dictate your life.  Only your "Essence" knows what
your Life Plan is and how to make sure that you accomplish it.  
     Your life is for living, loving, and growing, not to be hidden away.  Revenge is not the
answer; blaming someone else is not the answer either.  Life is too short; enjoy it now.